Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Oh My.
I am very confused. Not wanting to jump to conclusions, or make assumptions, and I'm too scared to say anything. But then... all the information matches.... And I keep hoping. But there's no reason he would think I would ever want to speak to him again. Oh dear. I hate waiting, sitting here taking my time because these things never play out in a matter of seconds. Everything has to be so cryptic. Cryptic.....
Friday, July 3, 2009
Use Somebody
I went to bed feeling stupid for what I did last night. But then resisting temptation has always been beyond me. I just can't give this up, can't forget, can't let it go. Ended- not of my own will- so suddenly, and I just know you never want to talk to me. I just know you'll never trust me again. And maybe you're right not to. You probably are.
I'd say I needed somebody right now. But that would be a lie by omission. I need you. I don't know why... except that when months go by and a person is still there, lying in your every thought, then somethings wrong. I don't want to tell you all the things that are wrong with me- I want to ask questions so you can answer them. I never knew where you were, what was going on in your life. I used to be so selfish. I don't know when that changed. Maybe because I'm learning more and more what love is really like. Or maybe it's just about time I learned the value of sacrifice. I don't know.
I'd say I needed somebody right now. But that would be a lie by omission. I need you. I don't know why... except that when months go by and a person is still there, lying in your every thought, then somethings wrong. I don't want to tell you all the things that are wrong with me- I want to ask questions so you can answer them. I never knew where you were, what was going on in your life. I used to be so selfish. I don't know when that changed. Maybe because I'm learning more and more what love is really like. Or maybe it's just about time I learned the value of sacrifice. I don't know.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Mistakes
I wish I could ask all these questions I have.
Was this real? What did you feel?
For the first time, I want to know about you. I want to know what you were feeling. I want to hear your thoughts, and just revel in the feel of your voice, of your words. I feel like all those times you said what I was feeling before I spoke the words- like maybe if I think this, FEEL this hard enough, I can get through to that place that we always used to be so connected in, and speak straight to your heart. Do you remember all the times we thought the same thing, like we were inside of each other, speaking with the same voice.
This was more than what people would have seen... And I wonder whether it was real, like maybe you've moved on with your life and never think of me. But it's not like that for me. We had something crazy special, something most people only ever dream about. And I think about it all the time.
Was this real? What did you feel?
For the first time, I want to know about you. I want to know what you were feeling. I want to hear your thoughts, and just revel in the feel of your voice, of your words. I feel like all those times you said what I was feeling before I spoke the words- like maybe if I think this, FEEL this hard enough, I can get through to that place that we always used to be so connected in, and speak straight to your heart. Do you remember all the times we thought the same thing, like we were inside of each other, speaking with the same voice.
This was more than what people would have seen... And I wonder whether it was real, like maybe you've moved on with your life and never think of me. But it's not like that for me. We had something crazy special, something most people only ever dream about. And I think about it all the time.
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